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these weary atoms are constantly
wreathed into genetic ornaments and
recycled from human to human.

i can trace my veins off into the brazen
custody of our prescribed atmosphere.

bring me to where the world ends
and the horizon collides with the heavens,
because i'd like to recreate myself into
something new.

or at least fade among the hydrogen
furnaces, returning to a cosmic cradle.
"Our planet, our society, and we ourselves are built of star stuff."

-- Carl Sagan (Cosmos)

My writing's been wonky for the past few days. :noes: I'm not sure if I like it.
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:iconmikeyjean:
mikeyjean Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2015
we are sunshine and stardust nothing more I want to go to the cosmic cradle with you....lovely poem
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :hug:

I'm so sorry for this incredibly late response. :dead:
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
No offence meant, but atoms of stars are independent and are not related to atoms forming genetic ornaments. :bucktooth:

(Opinion borne from studying BS Applied Biosciences for four years)

With that said, I believe that the concept of us wanting to restructure ourselves into something as "perfect" as the stars is an interesting concept to take up. At the same time, I feel that the idea of resurrection ("bring me to where the world ends/ and the horizon collides with the heavens") is discussed to the interest of the audience. Its overall, a decent poem, and its food for thought. Good work.
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:lmao: Thank you so much for everything.

Applied Bioscience? :nuu: Sounds painful.
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:) Anytime.

Surprisingly no. Its quite fun :)
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:icononigiripandahats:
OnigiriPandahats Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2014  Student General Artist
Wow. I love the concept and it's worded in a way that can be imagined as anything! Brain overload...Cannotevenplz 
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :love:
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:icongossamerdissonance:
gossamerdissonance Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2014  Student Writer
Beautiful
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much! :love:
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:iconalwaysraincheck:
AlwaysRainCheck Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Student General Artist
I love the concept and how you phrased it, so deeply evocative imagery Heart 
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much. :happybounce:
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:icona-lovely-anxiety:
A-Lovely-Anxiety Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
this is wonderful in every single way and i love it.  great work :heart:
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you as always. :hug:
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014   Writer
Wow, this is amazing; it has to be my most favorite poem of your thus far. There's just so much I love about it, not to mention I'm a sucker for galaxy words and etc, the word choice, the idea behind it, just everything! I really like 'cosmic cradle' - that's a killer word choice which reminds me of the idea that humans were made by stardust. This poem also seems to carry that idea, but also has a hint of mental illness and pessimisticism (is that a word?). What did you originally mean for this poem to be about? :heart: 
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I'm so honored. :eager: Thank you so much for the kind words. I appreciate them more than you know.

Once again, you analyzed this well. The 'cosmic cradle' was inspired by the idea that humans are stardust. I tried to avoid the word stardust in this, though, to try to tone down on the cliche a bit. :XD:

I truthfully have no idea. I actually wrote this in less than twenty minutes. :O I love your interpretation, though!
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:icontarzok:
Tarzok Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014
:clap::clap::clap:
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you!
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:iconieatrosepetals:
ieatrosepetals Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
i really love the way you use such "human" words to describe things that make up everything- and to me seem so much greater. if that makes sense?
"these weary atoms"- where the word "weary" makes me think of someone very tired but it's applied to atoms which makes me think of a small little ball of energy going "i want a freakin' break, mang" 
haha. 
that was the part that got me loving this piece. 
but i love all of it too. 
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It does make sense. And thank you. :love:
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:iconieatrosepetals:
ieatrosepetals Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
you so welcome~ 
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:iconspiralingspontaneity:
SpiralingSpontaneity Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I don't know why, but the term 'cosmic cradle' appeals to me a lot. Lovely work as always. :love: :heart:
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you as always. :love:
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:iconc-a-harland:
C-A-Harland Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Student Writer
I really liked this, but then, I'm a sucker for star stuff (as you well know). Loved the third stanza, it has a wonderful image.
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the kind comment. :la: The third stanza happens to be my favorite as well. I wrote it first and then expanded around it.

:XD: I think you're much better at handling astronomy-related things than I am, personally.
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:iconreireiserenade:
ReiReiSerenade Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Very beautiful in a scientific way! :heart: :clap:
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:iconaerode:
Aerode Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:hug: Thank you so much.
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