we are reckless just for fun

last night i'd seen you burned out
for the last time, but the sheets
were fire on bare skin. you came
inside the night,
grinding the universe to sudden
simplicity.

this dream wavers when i'm awake.
i can't bear to write of
how hollow we were when you
actually gave a damn, but
it is cool from here.

so let me count the ways you
drove me mad;
these times are wild and iridescent
and ruthless all at once.
take me, mercy, just for a while
and find new roads to the hills.

this yellow wallpaper, like me, is peeling.
but i am immortal, like tar usurping
the streams near the midsummer field.
i find that your limbs are pale
inside the light,
and you grip and groan to sweet nothings
and the pretense of being clean.

words don't exist when i'm asleep.
there's comfort to be found in shared
vertigo, and the irony of the moon
in sunrise. for months, we played
that game, and for months my
ribs were sore.

these sheets are tangled with my reckless
screams,
but i am adrift, alone, in a sea of serendipity.
among your machine gun messages
there is a void, and you warned me a bit
too late. a pity, because we were
still sane in the best ways.

i walk home alone when it's dark,
and my farewell will undoubtedly be
misplaced.
there will be no prayer tonight.